If I were an Atheist

My Life / My Will

If I were an atheist, reality would be centered around me. I would judge things as good if they were in my best interest, and I would judge things as bad if they were not to my advantage. If I were an atheist, all relationships would exist for my pleasure and for the pursuit of my best interest. I would be at the center of the universe, and all others with circle around me.

It would therefore be important that people agree with me in all things. Depending upon my level of sophistication, I would get people to agree with me without even realizing how I was manipulating them. In fact, I would take great joy in converting people to my way of thinking, and if I changed my thinking in any way, then I would want others to join me in this new enlightenment.

If I were an atheist, I would want people to think of me as somehow “good“, so I would probably have some story to tell people about my “goodness”. It could be around my generosity, which would be just enough to have people believe in my “goodness”, or it could be a construction of what I would leave behind, centered around a vision for humanity that would live beyond my existence. But the reality is that I would not truly care for anything about what survived my life. From my atheist perspective, the universe started to exist with me, and it will end with me. There may be times when I would even start to believe in these lies I was telling everyone else, but deep inside, and in moments of honesty that no one else would know, I would acknowledge no one mattered but me.

If I were an atheist, I would be committed to extend my life as long as possible, or at least, as long as I believed in a future the catered to my selfish desires. Any magic or technology that could prolong my life or enhance my self gratification would become increasingly important as I aged.

If I were an atheist, I would ignore all the many signs and all the facts that implied the existence of any being greater than myself. Sure, I could acknowledge the universe was created with an intelligent design by some mysterious force, but I would never concede to the fact that a being with intelligence was behind all that intelligent design. I would claim boldly that life just happened into existence, despite the great statistical improbability, because to acknowledge otherwise would be admitting to the existence of something greater than myself.

If I were an atheist, I would ignore miracles and fulfilled prophecies of the Bible. I would insist on any nonsensical thing just to throw a big middle finger up toward heaven because in reality, an atheist believes they would be a better god than God.

If I were an atheist, I would have to prove that no god ever existed… that no god could ever exist, but I’d probably avoid that impossible task so as to not waste my very limited existence.

If I were an agnostic

An agnostic can at least be honest with themselves and the world around them: they don’t know if a god exists. But does it end there?

If I were an agnostic, would I avoid the tough questions or would I have the courage and fortitude to press into them? Would I seek an answer as if my [eternal] life depended upon it, or would I avoid the pursuit, knowing that the answer I receive demands a price: to live in humble truth or run away from it?

Because if God is God, then how should it change my life… my everything? Could I trust that God is good? I was once afraid of that answer, afraid that He would possess me like a demon and wreck me. Yes, what if God was powerful but not fully good? Could I trust Him with my life? Would He make me do things that I didn’t want to do… that would ruin my life? But the implications of a God Who is real would change my life; my understanding of reality would have to make way for His reality!

I would no longer be the center of the universe, but a planet circling an enormous, life-giving sun! A planet created for an eternal relationship, truly and fully loved by the Greatest Of All Time! Could I discover that fact and run away, resentful of God’s grandeur… or perhaps fearful of my own inadequacy? Or could I instead embrace His truth and love, His grace and mercy?

No, I’m not an atheist, but I was once an agnostic who chose not to hide from the truth. Over months… over years, I asked God to prove Himself to me… if He was real.

I chose to doubt, and demanded that if He was real to give me an answer. And when He showed me in a way that only I could understand, I pressed in deeper to ask Him to reveal who Jesus was. He did not possess me as I feared. Rather, He has proved Himself a gentleman: in over 30 years, He has led me without ever forcing me. He has shown me a life I wouldn’t have chosen, but that I now wouldn’t change! And He promises a life eternal, a dynamic and continuous adventure that goes beyond this world and my current limitations.

I am a Christian

I am now (and for decades have been) a Christian, a child of God (coG), a coG in His plans and a co-inheritor of His Kingdom! I am His and He’s my faithful Friend, my trusted Leader and Mentor. And from seeing His steadfast goodness in my life, I can trust in His promises for the future. I can trust that He has promised to prosper me and not to destroy me. (Jeremiah 29:11) I don’t need to live in fear or selfishness because He is always giving. Because His giving is limitless, I can always give. I am able to love because of His trustworthy love for me. (1 John 4:19)

All that I have and all that I am comes from Him. There is no strength or ability in my hand or mind that doesn’t come from Him. Even my salvation is His gift to me, received by His grace through His gift of faith… the faith that He gave me. Not by my own power so I can’t boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

I feel sorry for the atheist: the fear, the isolation, the anger, the hopelessness, the self-deception. I thank God He has chosen me for His purposes, no matter how high or lowly! I am His and He is mine!

If you doubt any of this, then pray for greater faith. He will give it if you are sincere. Do not doubt it, He will answer your prayer! But are you prepared to respond to the answer? Are you willing to press in relentlessly until you find an answer? Will you spend months or even years to know for certain, and will you be willing to adjust your life to His reality? The cost is great, but is there any better investment?

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” ~ Jim Elliot


copyright ©2023 Mitchell Malloy (http://mitchellmalloyblogspot.com/)

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