Learning to be a Man: What is a Man?
These toxic behaviors are like counterfeit money; regardless of the gender associated with a certain behavior, the action itself is a poor imitation of the behavior that godly men and women should exhibit. So continuing with the analogy of counterfeit money, we should study the proper model of manhood in order to better understand what is improper. How do we train people in identifying fake currency: by making them experts on authentic money. Yes, learning to recognize the real thing is the best way to filter out all the many, inferior imitations.
Strength is associated with masculinity, but that should not be limited to physical prowess. True strength flows from discipline and is exemplified in moral fortitude. No matter our age, we as men can be disciplined and strong. This is not to say that women are weak or that they can’t exhibit this behavior. They can and they do, but it is a masculine trait. In the same way, a man can be nurturing even if this is feminine trait. A woman does not become less feminine by being strong, and a man doesn’t become less masculine by nurturing others. It’s simply not a behavior that comes easily to most men.
Because of a man’s strength, men assume the role of provider and protector. These roles are in the basic make-up of every man and reflect a self-sacrificing love. If our motivation is to please others rather than to do what is right out of love, the behavior can look the same to an unknowing outsider, but it reflects a completely different character within the man. It is because we have the ability that a loving man will provide for and protect others. So love is what empowers a man to be a man. By contrast, self-love enslaves a man to boyish ways and saps our strength. But give a man purpose driven from love, and he can do great things.
The United States military knew as they sent men to the beaches of Normandy in World War II that it was love that would drive the army forward to victory: love for their brothers-in-arms and to a lesser extent love for their country, friends and families at home. The clear and present danger to their brothers was evident and demanded action. The reality of a distant home becomes surreal in a war-time environment, but the threat to their brothers can’t be ignored in the focused pursuit of their mission. But men have the ability to focus on greater things while implementing enabling objectives. Men will focus on their objective once they embrace the value of their mission. Boys easily give up pursuit, finding the way difficult as every good thing worth pursuing is inevitably blocked by unforeseen impediments, but a man will persevere.
Finally, a man takes initiative. He actively seeks to know what should be done and then takes action to see that it is done. He does not wait for another to initiate with him, but rather seeks to know his purpose, his landscape and engages others to join him. A man is a leader, even if the only person he is leading is himself.
It is not easy being a man, and the world will oppose our efforts. Our emotions and desires will stand in opposition to this pursuit. But it is a worthy pursuit. We will each fail to the man we could be, but only in striving to be a man will we become better men.
There is a model for what a man should look like; His name is Jesus. He was never self-serving, and He was stronger than anyone who lived before Him or who has lived since his first coming. He is our Provider and Protector, driven by love for each of us and love for His Father. He persevered through every obstacle, His focus on a reality beyond this world of temporary suffering, and He continues to initiate a relationship with us despite our wandering hearts. He is the model to follow, and we can’t recognize the model unless we spend time with Him, reading His Word, praying and obeying His lead.
I can’t give you a shortcut to becoming a man. Only by studying the Bible, talking with other believers and spending time with Jesus, we can learn what Biblical sexuality looks like. I can say that if you try to imitate me, you will be a lesser man than you could otherwise become. So imitate Jesus.
I promise you: it won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Never give up or settle for being less than what He is calling you to be. Never look to a lesser model of manhood. Rather, study who He is so that you can see the counterfeit versions more easily. By knowing the Truth, you will be set free.
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