Snapshots and Synapses

So as to not be too heady as well as lay the groundwork for this particular blog, what does dichotomy mean? According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, dichotomy is: a division into two especially mutually exclusive or contradictory groups or entities [e.g.] the dichotomy between theory and practice also : the process or practice of making such a division [e.g.] dichotomy of the population into two opposed classes So “dichotomy” is simply a division within one thing, most often in the sense of polar opposites.  And what is “being”? As a verb, it’s just the act of existing while when used as a noun it a living thing. You and I are beings, and we are both currently acting out our existence. So the rather intimidating title “The Dichotomy of Being” is simply two contradictory beings in one entity. Now again, I don’t want to get too deep, but words are important and I couldn’t find a word I liked better than “dichotomy” to describe what our existence is like because as believers we are...

One of my favorite stories about Jesus is when he’s approached by His friend, Peter, who asks how many times he should forgive a person. (See Matthew 18:21-35 ) Peter threw out a number, suggesting that a person should be forgiven 7 times. Seven (7) was understood to be the number of perfection and completion, so Peter was demonstrating his understanding of how important it is to forgive. But it’s hard to discern a person’s heart, especially from a short and simple story. Was Peter asking in order to justify himself and his own self-righteousness or was he being sincere in trying to understand God’s view on forgiveness? Regardless, Jesus responds in a way that Peter wasn’t expecting, saying that we should forgive 70 times 7, figuratively explaining that there is no limit to the number of times we need to forgive others. Jesus then goes on to tell a story that explains this concept, tying how we are forgiven with our ability to forgive.   As we know, Peter like all Jesus’ friends ab...

I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been trying to form my thoughts for a topic that I’ll post later this month, and like our society in general have considered Father’s Day only as an afterthought. Our society celebrates Mothers pretty easily, and that’s a good thing. But it seems harder to celebrate fathers. Why is that? The message at our church today was a really good one but reflecting upon the content I realized that it was mostly describing fatherhood wounds, the impact of a bad father figure and how God brings restoration. So I could choose to write about the qualities of a good father, and that would also be a good thing to share, but instead I thought it might be better to share my challenges as a father. Assuming that others may be challenged in similar ways, maybe someone would benefit from knowing that we’re not alone. As the father of five children, I know I’ve made mistakes and that I’ve also done the right thing. No one is perfect as a parent, and that shouldn’t...

Truth and Lies I’m of the belief that God is in control, that He doesn’t make mistakes, and therefore our gender, height, and hair color are part of His perfect design. You should also know you were born for such a time as this. The timing of your birth and the family you were born into were intentional, which isn’t to say that how others treated you was part of God’s plan. The important thing to realize is that you are no accident. Your gender is no accident.  I’m writing this to those were born male and to dispel some lies about being a man. One lie is that masculinity is toxic or that one gender is better than another. There are some traits that are inherently masculine and some that are feminine. There are also traits that apply to both genders: intelligence, creativity, resilience, etc. As people we made in God’s Image (See Genesis 1:27) and we were made to be loved and to love others.  Yet chances are, you’ve been lied to about the facts of life and what it means to be a...

I have been confronted many times with the statement: “everybody needs a god that looks like them”. There’s something appealing about this assertion, like candy for the soul. I like candy, but pleasant sweets are not always a healthy thing. So I have wondered about this statement. Is it an eye-opening realization of what people need or a subtle lure toward what people want? If I draw further on the nutrition analogy, treats like chocolate and honey have benefits in moderation. Likewise, people need a relatable God to have a relationship with God, and it’s true that we were made in the likeness of God. Male and female, we were created in God’s image. And when I look at the splendorous differences of all races, I can understand that God had a purpose in creating racial variety. The diverse nature of mankind is a reflection of the infinitely multifaceted nature of God. I can appreciate the differences in race and gender, and like a Frenchman proclaim: “Viva la difference!” I appreciate th...

I blogged a couple years ago about How to Fight , embarrassed to find the typos that have been out there, and which I promptly cleaned up. (Well, at least the ones I noticed!) My typing hasn't improved, and my views haven't changed since I've written that blog. There is an appropriate way to fight, and it should always be with the right perspective of who we're fighting. It's not flesh and blood but principalities. Still, there is a time for taking decisive, physical action when the evil worked through human hands needs to be stopped. Now, I believe that all truth is God's truth, so we can find God's hand outside of the Bible such as science or philosophy as long as those disciplines don't contradict what God has told us in Scripture. We know we have an enemy who is a great deceiver, who would appeal to our prideful understanding and use it to set up a barrier between ourselves and God. Because of this, we need to carefully seek the direction of the Holy...

We shouldn’t steer away from difficult conversations or controversy, and it’s important to understand opposing views if we are to influence the world around us with the truth of Scripture. This is a hard topic, and I ask that you don’t assume where I’m going with this subject. So here it goes… What’s wrong with this scenario: in a public forum, a prominent minister was asked how he would respond to a certain woman’s name. (https://youtu.be/NeNKHqpBcgc) His response was direct and cutting: “Go Home!” From the response of the crowd, he obviously knew his audience. They laughed and applauded his response, creating a reason for a post-Christian culture to become outraged. In this case, the woman is wildly popular as a Christian teacher, the head a ministry that has inspired countless people.  Let’s suppose for a moment that he had every reason to criticize her teachings as unbiblical. Was his response appropriate? Did he respond in a firm, clear and loving fashion to another ...

I saw a sign in a coffee shop today that said, “Life is Good!”, and I had to ask myself if I really believed that. I’ve had a good life, better than I deserve, but as I was reading the sign I thought to myself that “Life is Hard”! Even though I can see all sorts of good things in my life, life is often a struggle. I know that despite how hard life can sometimes be, God is good and will carry me through the hardest times, but while I know this truth in my head, I don’t always feel it in my heart.  As I was reading that “Life is Good!” sign, I was also reading in Matthew 22 where Jesus said: “Put your sword away! All who use a sword will be killed by a sword.” (v.52) When life gets really hard, I have the tendency to fight back, which can be good depending upon how I choose to fight. There were times in the past where I’d say to myself (or even out loud!): “I wish we could go back to battle axes and fight this out the old-fashioned way.” And I meant it. It felt like an easier, ...

As a follow-up to “ The Missing Fathers ”, I’ve collected some tidbits of conventional wisdom about what it is to be a man and thought I’d compare them with what I’ve come to believe. Like Descartes in his Meditations, I tend to doubt everything, building upon the truth that I do know. I also have a general rule that I follow: when conventional wisdom doesn’t match what I see in the Bible, I throw out conventional wisdom. I’ve found the Bible to be true and reliable. Yes, there are paradoxes in Scripture, apparent inconsistencies that challenge us to pray for greater understanding, but I’ve found that God is faithful to grant wisdom and insight when we turn to Him for it. (Proverbs 2:25, James 1:5, Colossians 1:8-10)  “Real men don’t cry.” – Conventional Wisdom  “Jesus wept.” – John 11:35 (NIV) It’s okay to cry in sympathy with others. It’s okay to cry tears of joy. It’s okay to cry, especially to cry out to God. It’s good to feel and to understand what’s behind our fe...

I took a day to be alone with God, a “personal retreat day”. It was long overdue, and I was looking forward to just spend time with God. My life has been very busy the past several months, and the idea of just spending time with Him gave me a feeling of both expectation and apprehension. I’m writing this at the end of that day, trying to stay focused on just one thing He showed me. I’ll try to keep this all rated-PG in nature, but I guarantee it is not G-rated material. Stop reading now if you are easily offended or wish to shield your eyes from some ugly truths. At one point in the day, I drove by a store specializing in adult materials. I could add that this chain of stores is heavily tied to witchcraft (although that is not advertised) and that it sits as a snare, the temporary pleasures of this world appealing to the lustful desires of men and the controlling urges of women. I was stopped at a traffic light on my way to an inexpensive restaurant about a mile away, and my ...

For years… no, really for decades… I've been frustrated with the portrayal of men, particularly fathers, in sitcoms. Foolish, selfish and immature, they act more like boys in adult bodies than men. So as I've blamed a faceless “Hollywood” all these years for what I've deemed to be a poor representation of manhood, I’m now having to reconsider that maybe “they” are only portraying the men they've seen, a man who lives more like a boy rather than the role model he’s called to be. Admittedly, I can act goofy, make bad decisions and like to have fun, but I aspire to greater goals. And it’s my hope to inspire others to live as men, growing into their adult bodies rather than continuing to live as boys. Of course, Satan, the great Enemy of man, wants us to forget who we are called to be, and he uses many tricks and tactics to distract us from our true calling. We are in a war and failing to recognize that basic truth opens us to attack. I can fall into his traps as easi...

I was having a conversation with some people who were concerned about changes in their company and how that may impact them. They were worried that certain organizational changes could result in their job disappearing. It’s a legitimate concern. Businesses will often try to get rid of inefficiencies by reorganizing, and it’s not uncommon to see long-time employees let go because their skillset either isn’t applicable to today’s business needs or because the business believes it can get that need met in a more cost-effective manner. So having been a part of these scenarios in the past, I encouraged the group to consider how they add value to the business goals and how their skillset compares to overall market needs. But walking away, the thought occurred to me: “Most people just don’t know how to think that way.” A guy shows up to his job for 20-30 years, sometimes working late and missing out on other life opportunities. He’s committed to the company and assumes the commitment is...