This isn’t one of my more typical posts. I’ve decided to share personal observations after more than half a century on this earth. I was visiting a friend in the hospital, and as I was signing out with the receptionist, a woman with a young teenage daughter asked my opinion: do guys like false eyelashes? She was trying to make a point with her daughter about being genuine. I gave her my opinion, talked a little bit, and walked to my car reflecting on how hard it is to be a teenager, especially with all the many voices that often offer contradictory advice.
It caused me to wonder, so I did an internet search on what guys find attractive. Finding more opinions than scientific conclusion, I decided that my thoughts were just as valid as any one else. So I’ll give you the bottom line up front: guys are attracted to what they perceive as healthy.
Physical Attraction
I realized at a relatively young age that what I found attractive, another guy might not and vice versa. There is an old saying: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Certain body parts and body types that I found attractive could mean little to another guy. We all have unique tastes, and while cultural influences often prejudice opinions, physical attraction is truly in the eye of the beholder. I could find some traits attractive and be unconcerned with other physical aspects. Then it occurred to me that a woman could find some of my traits attractive and have not care about my least attractive attributes. Physical attraction did not require perfection; rather, attraction was dependent upon individual likes. At the heart of this attraction was the perception of a healthy attribute: confidence.
Physical Attractiveness & Self-Respect
“Confidence” was a common trait that guys found attractive in my internet search, and while confidence and self-respect are not quite the same thing, confidence flows from respecting one’s self. A woman who respects herself lives in a way that she perceives as healthy. This overflows into every area of life: physical, emotional, and spiritual. She develops herself in what she believes is important.
Going back to my conversation with that teenage girl and her mother, I pointed out that guys are attracted to authenticity, emphasizing that if a woman pretends to be someone else then she is attracting the wrong guys. If searching for love, then pretending to be someone else hides the real you; they will not love you but who you pretend to be. A woman who respects herself will be authentic.
Who are you, really?
If you don’t know who you are, are you really ready for a relationship? You run the risk of becoming someone’s image of who they want you to be. Discover who you are first.
So let me talk to you as a loving father would tell his own daughter: you are wonderfully made. Like the John Legend song says, the right man wants all of you with all your perfect imperfections. There is someone who will appreciate your assets and overlook the other things. You should just focus on being who God made you to be.
Throughout this post, I’ve emphasized perceptions of health: what a man perceived as healthy. But what is truly healthy is truly attractive: a healthy intellect, body, emotional intelligence, social grace / friend group, and spiritual perspective. Being healthy is attractive. God made you as a one-of-a-kind-wonder, and He made you to love and be loved. Being yourself, the best version of yourself, is how you will attract the right guy at the right time. God is in control and He has a plan for you. Are you willing to join Him in that plan?
